FEELING FINE ALL OVER AGAIN.....

As of late i havent been feeling myself, i cant really say why this is for the truth is i have no idea, its hard to quantify sometimes isnt it, people say i feel down or blue or this person upset me, or im mad about something which is why i feel bad, but with me their very rarely a reason, just the feeling itself of feeling not right, its this feeling that helps me understand more about secondlife, secondlife is in someways the most perfect online therapy, it requires nothing more than a pc and some peace and quiet, it can eliminate the stress of having to meet people in public places, and best of all social airs and graces are left at the door everyone is more or less on the same playing field, and thats great, for me all it took was one nite of being on roller skates running around a sim and playing disco music that lifted me up, there was something wonderful watching people skate to boogie wonderland, im not sure whether its because its something i may never do in real life, or that large group of people from all walks of life decided to do something out of the extraordinary at the same time, maybe its was a fluke or maybe they were all bored and wanted something to do?  Out of all this though i hope it was because being together without barriers was the best thing for them at that time, thats what secondlife is despite what some people may think, it removes all the barriers and even though i may not have been rollerskating with those people tonite in real life, there is nothing that i could experienced more that would of made me feel closer to them, this was definitely my therapy for my blues, and like a shining sun on a dark day, it blasted my blues right out of the skies.....

Under The Sea And Over Worked......

This monday i played host to one of the best gigs ever, it was mermaid nite at the queen vic in london and we had one of the best turnouts ever, its nites like this that make u really glad to be in sl, so many different characters and so many great stories to hear while i was djing, i could barely take it all in, the night was tinged slightly with the news of all the grief in japan, and i played tell me there is a heaven for the people of japan, which did make people cry.

On the overworked side, mj djing has really taken off and im allways getting requests to play, this has led to me also working every nite, so i think im gonna need a few days rest soon, having said that i wanna say thank you to all the people that have come to support me  so far, 17000 lindens raised for my cause and rising and its all because of you guys

My Name Is Steve

Here in secondlife people are never that keen to talk about their real lives, i sometimes have never been able to understand this but i respect it, after all this is second life and a chance to start a new, but i was thinking lately why do some of us  ( though not all ) feel the need to start anew, and more importantly how can we start anew when we havent sorted out the stuff and problems in real life? This is definetly a thing i have more and more thought about recently, to the point where today right here and now i will tell you 11 points about real life to maybe help me deal with my own real life issues that pushed me into secondlife in the first place so here we go......

1) I am a 32 year old male who is gay and very much alone at times

2) I have lost both my parents and only have one sister

3) Im terible when in a relationship and  can get quite nasty when i split with someone

4) I have learnt to fend for myself and feel no strong need for friends

5) My ability to depend on myself make me feel isolated and alone

6) I daydream constantly of a escape to a different country, then feel trapped when i feel i cant leave

7) I constantly undermine myself and suffer from bouts of depression

8) I am way more inteligent than i believe, i like to think im dumb as the weight of responsibility when you are smart that comes from you and others is sometimes unbearable

9) I have been happier since using secondlife yet have still managed to remain me somehow

10) I constantly struggle with good bad, sometimes i worry im not a good person and that my destiny is damned, other times i feel im too  good and get stood on, other times i manage to feel ok and not worry, these are good days which i have seen more of since using sl.

11) My name is steve.......

Everyone Needs A Little Love.....

Now strangely enough one of the most stand out things that happened this week was not when i was djing but when i was having some down time with the hubby and a real good friend of ours, now our friend is one of the most genuinely nicest people you will ever meet in sl, but we had no idea of nice she was until we met her daughter, her daughter is a confused tempramental lil madam who is sweet when she is not acting up, we were all sitting there talking while her daughter was walking around out of earshot, the talk immediately started to lean towards her daughter, questions like "why did you adopt?" "Why does she play up?" Were very much at the forefront, as the conversation grew we discovered that our friend had at one point adopted ten kids not one but ten kids in sl, if there was a expression on my face it would one of me opening my mouth wide enough to fit in a bus, "Why on earth ten? Is one not enough you greedy woman" All of this was said in good humor, but what surprised me even more was the real life situations behind the kids she adopts, you see all the kids ( who tend to be real life adults)she takes in are transgendered who have had either problems in rl with their families and other issues, i didn't know what to say this was a truly wonderful moment of sl, there is this woman sacrificing rl and sl time to give kids or real life adults the chance not to be who they want in sl but to be who they should of been all of long, i struggled to give her a coment as i didn't know what to say, all i remember was asking briefly why? And do you know what the answer came from this wonderful devoted person was, Well everyone needs a little love don't they? Yes they certainly do my love , they certainly do........

                                                                 Me as the huckster

                                                                The audience go wild

                                                         One of the screens i made

The crowd get warmed up

The other great thing was i did a small gig as one of my fav all time acts on valentines, my simply red show was fab and i wanna thank everyone who showed, weirdly enough our friend who i was talking about above was also there, and the show inspired her to do her own Janet Jackson show, i am getting the censor boxes ready in case she has a wardrobe malfunction, so I'm going to watch with great interest........

To Begin At The Begining....

Ok guys now that ive filled you in a little bit about what secondlife is all about why dont i tell you what has happened since i started this project, my first set was ohhhhhhhh about a week ago, i was absolutely bricking it as apart from only ever using voice once before on a sl chat show i had never spoken properly over secondlife to residents before using my own voice however i knew this was something i needed to overcome, not to mention having to put a playlist of songs together that will make people dance so come the hour cometh the man or something like that so there i was in the queen vic all primed and ready and with sam broadcaster loaded and ppl slowly turning up i hit the play button and off we go, except fro the fact i didnt realize my stream wasnt running or that half my songs wernt lined up properly or that sam couldnt connected to database, the words organized chaos sprang to mind along with a few expletives , but yet somehow i managed to hold it together and get through the set, in fact i stayed for a extra hour and made 700 lindens into the bargain, now as the weeks have progressed i have learnt to prep properly use voice a little better and to have a backup in case sam fails, i now dj at the queen vic the darkrose club ripper and hopefully aloha club if my trial works out, but you know what was the best thing that i got out of this so far was a comment i got from my secondlife husband who has a friend i dj for and it was this....
Friend:How's steve?
Husband:Hes ok....stubborn but ok lol
Friend:I really miss him djing i love the music he plays
Friend:I keep hearing songs playing at work that i think hmm steve should play that
Friend:like hotel California i love that song

Makes it all worth it doesnt it?

                                                     A not so typical party in london.....

                                                                     Club Ripper

                                                           Sl Version Of Coney Island

                                                               Another Sl Bday Party    

Just A Little Bit Of Magic............

One of the most interesting things in secondlife is that you can do pretty much whatever you want, the possibilities you have here are endless you can fly, take part in role play, join a community dedicated to art of making chocolate or spend a day floating in a bubble round London like me, whatever you want to do is up to you and your free to choose, feels great doesn't it?
But ( and there is always a but isn't there ) this is where it can get tricky, especially with new guys, is that it doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and it wont matter because the avatars aren't real, let me give you a example a young lil buck fresh off the factory line and no more than a few hours old teleported straight to my coffee shop upon where he came up to me and said you wanna fight? After me warning a few times he didn't get the hint that i owned the place so i banned him from the shop, and when i say ban i mean properly banned he can not teleport back in ever as he will be sent to the nearest region instead ( oh the joys of owning land in secondlife ), so you see you can do whatever you like but you cant act however you want to people as they are still real and not pixels, every avatar has a person behind it and this is one of the most important aspects that new guys most definitely need to understand, some of the new guys also treat everything here in the third person as in lets have some fun as its only a game and nothing we do can ever have any possible side effect, now while I'm all for not letting secondlife be too heavy and using it to have fun, for most people this is not a game and saying this to load of veterans is most likely to make you as about as popular as George bush appearing on jeopardy, so you see you can do what you want within limits, now where is the crazy man who walks round handing out flyer's saying Steve Rumsford is a big old retarded ponce, i think I'm gonna have a word with him.........

The Economy....

Now here is the thing that spices secondlife up is that secondlife has its own economy, yes we survive on money as well, the economy runs on linden dollars to buy and sell things from clothes for your avatar to a house or renting your own sim, 1 dollar is worth 249 lindens in world which could buy you anything from a designer outfit to a weeks rental in a london sim its that surreal, now this is the other thing its also possible to make money if you are smart enough, you can get a job doing almost anything from being a estate agent to a stripper, obviously these jobs are not for everyone and trust me ive been naked on a pole before and unless you have a good grip you get into some dreadful positions, so with this in mind i set out to be a dj which at first i really enjoyed doing even though i rarely got tipped but as i got better and learned how not to mix don mcleans vincent into every track i began to realize i could make money here, so this is where my plan comes in, i want to dj my away across secondlife and in to america using my stream and my sexy voice to charm my way across the virtual world and the atlantic and play some kick ass tunes to boot, my goal is to reach 6200000 lindens which equals 24000 us dollars the estimated amount to get you started in college in the united states, will i do it? I have no idea but you know im gonna have a heck of time trying i already have 2200 ok thats only 8 bucks but its 8 more than i had yesterday, maybe it is time to get on the pole again.....